Sunday, 12 October 2014

Singing in my heart

My mind is onstage tonight! Every so often I have moments when I think about the last ten years, everywhere I've been, and what it feels like to stand in the lights and hold my microphone, standing with my girls. As this blog's title suggests singing just as much as writing, I thought it was about time I wrote a post about music - and it's fitting, seeing as I am singing in my heart right now..

My rollercoaster ride with music has been riveting and breathtaking so far; may it continue that way for as long as I live. I don't yearn for what were the more difficult stages of the journey, but the suggestion that I acted bravely in the face of my own personal adversity - eventually, anyway! - makes those struggles worthwhile. Yes, I am a little dramatic by nature, and this probably sounds a bit over the top, but I have been tormented, I have conquered demons and I have worked my posterior off.

A wise friend and fellow singer once said to me, during a very dark time:

"You can't let the fear beat you; you can't let it win, otherwise it might stop you doing what you love. Don't let it. You're stronger than this. I know you can do it."

That conversation has never left me, and she was right. I was allowing the fear to win; I was running, I was overwhelmed, and I was drowning. She was the one, and turned out to be one of many, who held out a hand and grabbed me, pulled me through. Another very dear friend also offered tough love; she was affected by my shaky presence onstage, my constant fidgeting and obvious insecurity, and gave me the strength to realise that it was okay, it wasn't the end of the world, and I could prevail. It was a reflection of what was going on inside, and her faith and belief in me has been unwavering.

They were both there.

Both of these women - strong, opinionated, powerful, talented, beautiful, and incredibly different - perhaps don't really know just how much they gave me, and how they helped me to shake off the debilitating fear that gripped my heart. Music is in my blood, it feeds my soul and heals my heart. I'd like to thank these ladies for eveything. They helped me to fly again.

Who are you thankful for today? I'd love to know.



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